5 Things I Do When I’m Stuck in a Severe OCD Flare
· Vice
Anyone diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) knows just how discouraging it can be to experience a “flare.” While the disorder is highly treatable, it’s also a chronic condition that often rears its ugly head during stressful times. That being said, there are ways to shorten or lessen these episodes.
Here are five expert tips for navigating a severe OCD flare.
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1. Label the Flare
As soon as you catch yourself in an OCD spiral, call it what it is. This will help you address the episode with the right approach. For example, non-OCD stress and anxiety are treated far differently from OCD symptoms.
“You have to actively tell yourself that this is not a real emergency. It is just your brain misfiring a biological threat signal,” says Martha Fernandez, LCSW, co-founder of CEREVITY Health. “You strip the power away by completely refusing to debate the specific details of the thought … If you start analyzing the content of the obsession, the OCD has already won.”
2. Practice Response Prevention
Once you recognize that you are, in fact, experiencing an OCD flare, return to your resources. Most people know the “gold standard” treatment for OCD is exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy.
“You don’t need a perfect plan or to jump back into therapy to begin response prevention,” says Madeline Thompson Smith, LPC, OCD + Anxiety Specialist and owner of Brave Lives Counseling. “Try delaying the compulsion by a few minutes, doing less of the compulsion, [not doing] the compulsion all at once.”
You don’t want to overwhelm your nervous system too much during these flares. I personally use scripting as a form of exposure during my more severe episodes, as it feels less intimidating yet still slowly increases my tolerance for uncertainty.
“Small repetitions matter more than big, dramatic exposures when you’re in a spiral, so any effort is good effort,” says Smith.
3. Sit With Uncertainty
Perhaps the worst part of an OCD flare is how critical it feels. I have spent hours trying to “figure out” my thoughts, as ignoring them felt wrong, irresponsible, and even dangerous. But true healing occurs when you can tolerate uncertainty.
“The biggest trap in a flare is the urge to fix the feeling,” Smith explains. “You want to get certainty, get relief, squash the anxiety, make the thoughts go away, etc. That’s, of course, the OCD loop, and we want to move our mindset from ‘How do I fix this feeling?’ or ‘How do I feel better right now?’ to ‘How do I respond differently, even while I feel this?’”
“People exhaust themselves trying to force the anxiety to stop,” Fernandez adds. “The goal during a flare is not to feel calm. The goal is simply to tolerate the extreme physical discomfort without executing your usual compulsion. You basically have to invite the anxiety to just sit in the passenger seat while you keep driving your day.”
4. Find Your ‘Why’
I recently received a copy of Your OCD Will Hate This Book by Nathan Peterson, LCSW, founder of OCD and Anxiety Counseling. The book, which will be available on July 7, shares a variety of helpful recovery tips, guiding readers through ERP with real-life examples and actionable steps.
One concept that stuck out to me was the idea of finding your “why.” Why do you want to get better? What has OCD stolen from you? What version of yourself could you be if you didn’t let OCD win? What might you accomplish? Let this motivate you to heal.
For example, my “why” since childhood has been my dream of becoming a writer and using my passion to help break OCD’s stigma. And guess what? I did it, despite this cruel disorder.
Without a concrete reason to recover, it’s easy to slip back into the dark corners of our minds and take the easier route. OCD can make you feel so deeply ashamed of yourself that you might not even believe you deserve to get better. Your “why” will help ground you through your healing journey.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
I always tell my therapist that the hardest part of OCD is the relentless shame—not just guilt, but a deep-seated disgust and hatred toward myself. That’s incredibly vulnerable and heartbreaking to admit, but it isn’t easy to love yourself when you have a bully in your brain.
As difficult as it might be—and trust me, I know it feels impossible sometimes—try to practice self-compassion and self-care during your flares. If not for yourself, for your loved ones, your career, your pet, your future, etc. Reflect back on your “why” if needed.
“Shame will slow you down. Drop it and opt for self-compassion statements,” says Smith. “Spirals often come with thoughts like ‘I should be past this’ or ‘I’m back at square one.’ You’re not. OCD is a chronic condition that waxes and wanes. Your skill is getting better at responding when it shows up.”
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